I love Eckhart Tolle. His books have been life-changing for me, especially “The Power of Now”. Today, in using some of his words on a group coaching call, I came across the gem below. It helped me to realize why people do not show up for themselves.
“Once you have identified with some form of negativity, you do not want to let it go, and on a deeply unconscious level, you do not want positive change. It would threaten your identity as a depressed, angry or hard-done by person. You will then ignore, deny or sabotage the positive in your life. This is a common phenomenon.
It is also insane.”
― Eckhart Tolle, The Power of Now: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment
Let me tell you something, my friends. If you don’t show up for yourself, no one else will. You can cling to your false beliefs about yourself and allow them to be your identity, or you can realize that you are harming yourself and holding yourself back by not letting go and surrendering to the fact that you aren’t any of the things that you tell yourself you are.
So, what does it mean to show up for yourself?
It means being humble enough to admit you don’t have this all figured out. It means opening your mind and your heart to new ways of viewing yourself and the world. It means being open to the possibility that maybe, just maybe, you can be happy. It means surrendering to Truth and not what your small self is telling you about yourself that is all based in lies. It means accepting your own Divinity. And that is frightening.
That’s why we resist doing this work. It’s scary to think about who we will be if we no longer have those negative defining ideals of ourselves of being a hard ass, or that we “don’t care” what others think about us, when, in fact, we worry about that constantly. It’s scary to rip off the masks we wear to meet the expectations of others. “What if they see my weakness? I’m supposed to be the tough one. The one who doesn’t give a shit about anything. The one who always has the answers. I’m always good. No vulnerability here.”
Guess what? We can’t be happy until we show up for ourselves and actually release ourselves from the lies of the small self. When we stop defining ourselves by our past, when we stop labeling ourselves as tough or depressed or angry or a failure, and open ourselves to the idea that all that we are is ON PURPOSE, we can heal and find joy in every aspect of our lives.
A FB friend coined the term, “be vulnerageous” … a combination of vulnerable and courageous. I like that word. (Thank you, Robert!) It is only in our vulnerability that we can truly show up for ourselves. Being vulnerable takes a lot of courage. Courage to let go of what we tell ourselves we are “supposed” to be. Courage to expose those most vulnerable parts of our psyche. Courage to change.
When there is someone there in your life, encouraging you, showing you how you are none of the negative things you believe yourself to be, show up for yourself. Listen. Be vulnerageous. Don’t cling so tightly to your own opinions and beliefs that you are closed off from hearing anything that deviates from those beliefs.
“I am” are the two most powerful words in any language. When we say, “I am angry,” or “I am a failure,” or, “I am not worthy of anything more than this,” we create that. Words are magical and powerful. What if, instead of saying, “I am angry,” we said, “I have been hurt”? (Because anger is always, always rooted in pain.) How about saying, “I have made mistakes in the past, but I learned from them,” instead of, “I’m a failure. I screw up everything I touch”?
Are you ready to accept the positive in your life and start making changes? Are you ready to be vulnerageous and share your fears and uncertainty? Are you ready to allow yourself to grow beyond anything you ever believed possible? Or do you want to stay stuck in your current beliefs that sabotage your ability to be happy?
If you’re ready, I’m here. Are you going to show up? I am happy to turn a light on for you to find a new path and to realize just how much purpose you have in this world. You just need to decide to be vulnerageous and be open to finding the best version of you.