My first husband used to say to me, “I love that you have the courage of your convictions.” And this sounds like a good thing to have. Courage to stand up for what I believe is right even if others disagree with me. And yet …
How healthy is that? Can we take the courage of our convictions too far and become overbearing and bossy? Does it make us want to prove to everyone that we are right in our thinking and they are wrong? Sometimes, unfortunately, the answer to those last two questions is “yes.”
The thing is, when we take the courage of our convictions too far, it’s because something in us needs healing. We’re hurting. We feel we have something to prove to others, when, in fact, the only person in the world we need to prove anything to is ourselves. And even that is questionable.
We all have shadows to work on. And those shadows have the courage of their convictions too. Like, “You’re not good enough.” “You can’t do that. You don’t have the chops to pull it off.” “You don’t deserve to be happy.” We all have those kinds of thoughts that come from past wounds and what others taught us about ourselves our whole lives.
So, how do we break free from our shadow’s courage of its convictions?
First, we ask, “Where is this feeling of self-doubt and lack of confidence rooted? Where did I develop the limiting belief that I am not enough? That I am not deserving of anything and everything I want for myself in life?” Then we ask ourselves if those beliefs are FACTS or just beliefs. If you can find just ONE instance that proves that belief wrong, it is not a fact. It is a belief. And beliefs can be changed.
Step two is asking yourself, “What is a different, healthier belief I can replace this one with?” Then look for just one instance that proves this belief true. I promise you, you will find more than one, if you look. And then you can say, “Huh, if I actually have support for this belief, it’s true. It’s factual. It’s not just some bullshit in my mind.”
When you do this, you open space for yourself to start living more authentically. You can step more fully into your own power and know that, no matter what, in this moment, right now, you are enough, you are deserving, and you are on purpose.